Exit plan

I have no exit plan.

I am leaving without saying goodbye.

I am leaving with a heavy heart.

I am closing the door as I leave so that I will not be tempted to return.

It is not true that I do not love it - I do, but it takes just the smallest push to throw me off the track.

This is classic love-hate. Classic.

When it comes to it, I have never been completely honest.

I have taken a break from it twice, and this is supposed to be my third time. Each time I ask for time off, I tell myself that it will be different when I come back.

You see, I am waiting to fall in love with it. But close to a decade later, I still am not.

It is quite a difficult thing, being honest to one’s self. I have not been honest to myself in quite a while.

It is not easy to leave, after all, I have come to love it a little.

But as a friend said, it is never a question of love. It is a question of "how much."

It hurts, even now. I still dream about it. But I have to leave.

I'm leaving. ###